Easier to Run
by firestorm2
Summary: A short songfic about Raven using Linkin Park's song Easier to Run, which I don't own. Reviews would be nice.


It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Then face all this pain here all alone  
  
Raven walked across the desert. He felt nothing. Nothing outside him, nothing inside him, except for the sharp pain that never went away.  
  
Something has been taken  
  
From deep inside of me  
  
A secret I've kept locked away  
  
No one can ever see  
  
Wounds so deep they never show  
  
They never go away  
  
Like moving pictures in my head  
  
For years and years they've played  
  
Van knew his secret. The secret of his past. He had kept it locked away, and Van had finally found it. Van had come upon him in the forest when he was delirious from pain and had taken him back to his house. In his nightmares Raven had spilled the secrets of his soul. The wounds of his past, always playing over and over in his mind, never ceasing, never ending.  
  
If I could change I would  
  
Take back the pain I would  
  
Retrace every wrong move I made I would  
  
If I could  
  
Stand up and take up the blame I would  
  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I  
  
Would  
  
If Raven could change, he would. If Raven could have killed Prozen, none of this would have happened. If he could take the shame of his past to his death, he would do it gladly.  
  
It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Then face all this pain here all alone  
  
It was easier to leave and face his past in the desert then drag the others in. The others being Van and his friends. When Raven had recovered, Van had invited him to stay at the base. Raven had accepted, hoping to get over his nightmares. It hadn't helped. Many times he had woken screaming in the night with the members of the Guardian Force standing in the doorway.  
  
Sometimes I remember  
  
The darkness of my past  
  
Bringing back these memories  
  
I wish I didn't have  
  
Sometimes I think of letting go  
  
And never looking back  
  
And never moving forward so  
  
There would never be a past  
  
Van had tried to get him to tell what he dreamed about. Raven had answered curtly, that what his nightmares were was none of his business. Van had accepted this reluctantly and hadn't mentioned it until Raven dreamed again. He had woken up with Van's face in his vision. Moonbay, Irvine, Fiona, Van, and Thomas were sitting in chairs around his bed. One look into their pitying, sympathetic eyes, and he knew. They knew his past.  
  
If I could change I would  
  
Take back the pain I would  
  
Retrace every wrong move I made I would  
  
If I could  
  
Stand up and take up the blame I would  
  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I  
  
Would  
  
If Raven had killed Prozen, none of this would have happened. He would have grown up to be like Van, happy and carefree. Raven would have been a normal person, one whose mind hadn't been so twisted that it was a miracle that he recognized friendship when he saw it.  
  
Just washing it aside  
  
All of the helplessness inside  
  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
  
Is so much simpler than change  
  
After that night, Raven had tried to forget. It hadn't worked. He could feel the stares, the whispers. So he left. He had simply left, leaving nothing but a note behind. The note had told the complete story of his past, Van's father rescuing him, Ambient's murder of his parents, his failed attempt to kill Prozen, and why he was the way he was.  
  
It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Then face all this pain here all alone  
  
Raven looked up and grinned bitterly at the large rock in front of him. He sat down in the shade and waited. Tilting his head back, he invited the memories to come.  
  
It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Then face all this pain here all alone 


End file.
